Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
