dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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