Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
