The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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