Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
