i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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