this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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