Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
