Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
jump out the window naked night went bad
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
