are you still at the devil's house?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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