she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
