It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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