Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
this will be a night to untag.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
