MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
