Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
