Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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