He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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