Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize