talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
