I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
