You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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