did you get engaged???
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
