Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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