He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
