I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
