If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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