He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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