I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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