He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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