the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
