She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
