If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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