whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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