Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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