Welp...herpes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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