Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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