Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
