Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
