Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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