they need to just BURY HIM!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
