About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
