What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
