i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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