So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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