sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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