i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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