his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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