Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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