My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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