Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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