Need sex. Gaining weight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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