Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
