So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
