Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
