i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
