I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
