Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize