all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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