Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Someone signed my nipple.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
