You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
