But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
