My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
