I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
