i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you traded sex for a burrito?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
