CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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