PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
