He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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